Spring is in the air and with that begins a season of Turkish weddings you are invited to where you have no idea who the bride and groom are, but you are related to them and its rude if you don’t turn up.

Firs there is the whole “they came to yours, so you have to go”, or it’s because they made the effort to bring the invite to your house (big deal)

Here’s our checklist on how you can tell you are at a Turkish wedding:

1. There are over 400 people in the same room.

2. There’s always a standard non Turkish table (usually at the back of the hall).

3. No wedding is complete without a drunk enişte that requests nothing but slow depressing songs.

drunk uncle at a wedding

4. The band that your cousin had…..Because, it’s the band that your cousin had.

5. Nothing says romance than a bride and groom that hardly make eye contact with each other – even during their first dance.

6. That one Teyze that steals all the centerpieces, even though everyone is told they are not to be taken.

7. A line of girls longer than a One Direction concert who are ready to dance the testi like the X-Factor final.


8. That amca that steals the bottle of whisky by putting it under his wife’s coat.

9. 27 cousins you’ve never met.

10. A table full of people your family doesn’t talk to.

11. A 35 year old man being taken around by his mum because he’s still single.

12. That older lady you recognise from somewhere but can’t remember, so you end up staring at her all night.

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Turkish Isms

I've been Turkish for as long as I can remember so wanted to share my journey of comical memes, videos, and observations I have made through my journey from a young Turkish boy getting his privates snipped, all the way to a grown man getting dayak from his nene.