According to a report carried out at Oxford University into ‘The Enişte Effect’, results have shown that around 9 in 10 Eniştes claim to know everything about everything and including every historic fact since the dawn of time.
A study on 1,000 Eniştes born before 1970 revealed that they like to show how much they know about all things to do with the world.
An alarming 98% revealed they know exactly how to light a mangal with 87% of them admitting to always taking over mangal duties when visiting someone for a kebab. Only 16% of those surveyed said they would stand back and let the host carry on with lighting and cooking the mangal.
Of all those questioned, 100% said they know everything about the formation and demise of the Ottoman Empire, and are not afraid to retell the story after a minimum of 2.7 glasses of Raki.
“It’s something Turkish people have known for some time. At family gatherings Eniştes are the first to demand slow Turkish music be played as well as chastise someone for not liking Hummus”.
Lead Researcher – Dr. Fikrim Yok PHD.
Anonymously Turkishisms were allowed to interview some of the Eniştes but were instantly asked if and if not why not we weren’t married yet. They then continued to tell us how to run the website and ask us to go to the supermarket and grab them a bottle of raki and as many bags of fistik as we could find. (We ended up going despite it not being what we were there to do).
“Unfortunately the problem lies with the Eniştes themselves and until hey accept that they need to change, then we could be facing an epidemic on a global scale”.
Dr Yok continued.
Unfortunately Dr Yok left his job due to constantly being told he was doing it wrong.
On leaving the research centre Turkishisms was left with these wise words from the Eniştes to share with you all:
1. Don’t use too much salt.
2. Put more salt on your makarana.
3. Get married before you are 30.
4. Don’t watch too much television.
5. Don’t believe the television.
6. Don’t trust Morgan Freeman.
7. Change your football team and support my team.
8. Don’t talk English around us.
9. Listen to Ferdi Tayfurs old albums at least 5 hours a day.
10. Wait and see UFO’s are real.
11. Did you know that I met Ibrahim Tatlises once?
And finally:
“Nedir bu Facebook, Macebook?”
