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More Problems Turkish People Have

You can never have enough Turkish problems being Turkish. Here are a few more.

1 – Never knowing which box to tick on an ethnic origin form
There is nothing worse than filling out those forms. Am I middle eastern, am I eastern European? Am I white? Am I mixed? Why isn’t there an ‘Other’ section?

Ethnic Form - Turkish

2 – Your Nene thinks Kolonya can fix any illness
This is a problem that will never change. Apparently Kolonya can fix any problem.

Me: “Nene I’ve had my leg amputated”
Nene: “Biraz Kolonya koy, geçecek”


3 – A conversation can be mistaken for an argument
Have you ever heard your mum when she has her friends around? you can hear them talking from the next village.

4 – Every meal features Garlic as a main ingredient
No wonder Dracula was created to scare the Turks. I can’t trust anyone that doesn’t like garlic.

No. Not Garlic again Anne!


5 – Turkish slow songs give you suicide tendencies.
When a song is called ‘Bu Akşam Ölürüm’ why on earth would anyone want to listen to it?

6 – You think it’s a tub of ice cream, when really it’s an ice cream tub full of Dolma.
There is nothing worse than the sadness in a child’s face when they think they are about to enjoy a tub of Carte D’or, only to find last nights dinner resting where the sweet ice cream once sat. 

Ice cream, or Last nights Dinner?
Ice cream, or Last nights Dinner?

7 – You are spat on to keep evil away
Will we ever truly understand why spitting on someone, or yourself keeps evil away. Apart from being very unhygienic, I fail to see where the protection comes from.

8 – Not knowing who to support when your local football team is playing your Turkish football team
The good old fashioned Turkish problem. Like when Arsenal are playing Galatasary. Even better is when Turkish people justify why they have chosen one over the other.
E.g. “They are playing in Turkey so they have enough fans so I’ll support Arsenal on this occasion”.

9 – Your parents want you to get married, but they don’t want you to go out and meet / talk / look at any members of the opposite sex.

10 – One of these:

Turkish Toilet
Where do I sit?



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  1. Best one yet. You know when someone has just come back from Turkey/Cyprus because they over do the limon kolonya for at least a week.

    Is it me or is there a correlation between Gala fans supporting Arse and my beloved Fenerbahçe fans supporting my beloved Spurs?

    Also the spelling of our names. I ask to have my name spelt Erişkin on all work stuff – is it Scottish? is it English? No it’s Turkish! However even Turks misspell our name. Maybe my buyuk dede could have come up with a more imaginative surname than adult.

    There are a few more specialist ones to add now which involve BBTs (British Based Turks) going back to see the family. For instance I do not eat meat and my family think this has been a 10 year joke. He must eat Tavuk yatma?

    Also I married a girl who’s parents are Punjabi. Turks and Punjabis are so similar it is unbelievable but imagine both sets of families when we got hitched. In fact our kids when we have them (maşallah) might be able to do Turkishisms squared having a baba who is a fiercely proud Turk and Anne who is British to the core but Punjabi.

    Enough about me. Fantastic website and you guys are doing us BBTs proud – Maşallah!

    1. Thanks Aaron – That means alot. Glad you are enjoying it.

      Wow sounds like you have enough content to write a sitcom! hang on a tick, you don’t eat meat? aman aman. I heard those types of Turks existed but never thought I would ever meet one haha

      That is very true about Fener/ Spurs and Gala/ Arsenal!

      BBT For life!

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