You can never have enough Turkish problems being Turkish. Here are a few more.
1 – Never knowing which box to tick on an ethnic origin form
There is nothing worse than filling out those forms. Am I middle eastern, am I eastern European? Am I white? Am I mixed? Why isn’t there an ‘Other’ section?
2 – Your Nene thinks Kolonya can fix any illness
This is a problem that will never change. Apparently Kolonya can fix any problem.
Me: “Nene I’ve had my leg amputated”
Nene: “Biraz Kolonya koy, geçecek”
3 – A conversation can be mistaken for an argument
Have you ever heard your mum when she has her friends around? you can hear them talking from the next village.
4 – Every meal features Garlic as a main ingredient
No wonder Dracula was created to scare the Turks. I can’t trust anyone that doesn’t like garlic.
5 – Turkish slow songs give you suicide tendencies.
When a song is called ‘Bu Akşam Ölürüm’ why on earth would anyone want to listen to it?
6 – You think it’s a tub of ice cream, when really it’s an ice cream tub full of Dolma.
There is nothing worse than the sadness in a child’s face when they think they are about to enjoy a tub of Carte D’or, only to find last nights dinner resting where the sweet ice cream once sat.
7 – You are spat on to keep evil away
Will we ever truly understand why spitting on someone, or yourself keeps evil away. Apart from being very unhygienic, I fail to see where the protection comes from.
8 – Not knowing who to support when your local football team is playing your Turkish football team
The good old fashioned Turkish problem. Like when Arsenal are playing Galatasary. Even better is when Turkish people justify why they have chosen one over the other.
E.g. “They are playing in Turkey so they have enough fans so I’ll support Arsenal on this occasion”.
9 – Your parents want you to get married, but they don’t want you to go out and meet / talk / look at any members of the opposite sex.
10 – One of these: